Wake Up To Your Dreams

greensblack3I don’t know about you, but this is the time of year when my dream-life gets hopping.  I make sure to have a journal and pen by my bedside, because my dreams increasingly have something to say that I want to absorb and recall and guide by.

Not that they don’t at other times of the year.  But I find that as we plunge into the Crone time of the year, that my dreams increasingly speak directly to my deepest yearnings and questions, offering some pretty obvious insights and advice.  At other times of year, my dream-life is often far my subtle, and exasperatingly mundane (or seemingly so).

Here’s how I tend my dreams.

At any time of year, when, in a dream I have a physical sensation that pulls me awake, I take time to enter the dream, recall the feel and details, and then I write it down.  These dreams are my medicine dreams, the most potent and direct that come to me.  The “pay attention! if you want soul-direction, or messages, or teachings, here they are!” dreams’.  I’m not sure if I made an agreement with my subconcious to wake me in this fashion or not, but it’s only been in the past five years or so — during the time that I’ve seriously tended my dreams as ‘beings’ — that these dreams have taken place.  These are the dreams that speak so eloquently to my heart, that when I wake up I sometimes feel like crying (and do) because I’m not there anymore, or feel so much excitement and gratitude and awe because I really have received something profound.  Something that changes my understanding of my self or reality.

At various times over the past decade I have been earnest about recording my dreams (because, really, so much more reveals to you when you do–I often find puns and riddles in plain sight when I reread what I wrote about the dream, and reenter different parts of it).  At one point I was waking up and recording dreams whenever I had them during the night.  That was starting to make me crazy :-), so I made a deal with my subconscious: “I’m going to pay special attention to the dreams I have just before waking in the morning, so if you want to give me a particular message, put it there, or else make it really clear to me in some other way that I ought to take note of another dream!”  That’s probably when I also started having my medicine dreams: if I had a particularly message-laden and potent dream in the Northeast of the night (the vision hours around 1:30 to 3:30am) — especially one that physically pulled me awake, then I’d write that one down too (well, usually I’m so wowed by the dream that of course I’d do that!).

I’ll write dreams down any time of the year, but here in October through early December I am far more attentive to doing so.  When I’ve participated in Dream Circles it has always been at this time of year, so I think that has helped instill this rhythm.  But there is also the natural rhythm encoded in this stretch of year.  As we approach the cross-quarter celebrations of Samhain, Halloween, Day Of The Dead, All Saints and All Soul’s Days, we enter the mythic time when the veil between the realms is thin.  It is the time, the old tales say, when we can speak to our ancestors, or to the spirits, or to the Soul of the World, or to the hidden realms of the self in far more direct ways.

Wandering with your dreams is like peeling away layers of reality.  There is much to discover, and sometime it stings, and sometimes it’s not what you expected from the surface of it.  You have to hold the “messages” lightly (don’t start taking yourself overly seriously as the result of dreams and visions!), but I always try to take some action during the day based on what I think the dream is telling me.  As a way to honor the Dream and its visit, and to demonstrate that I am trying to listen–to it, to my deepest self.

I have at times felt deep longings and yearnings to have grown up in another place and time where messages from the natural world, and teachings from spirits would guide me in my medicine path.  I realize in a “duhhh” moment that inner wisdom and teachings to my heart are available to me in dreams (as well as many other places).  Taking an action, no matter how small, because of the richness and symbolism of a dream is my way of saying to dreams: I am listening.  I want to learn, to deepen.  I know I can deepen my medicine ways through dreams.  I believe in the alive resonance that lies within our own souls.   My treasure lies at my heart, and dreams can help me bring them forth in service to others, to the earth, perhaps even to the archetypes themselves.  Who knows.  (another question I’ll ask when I meet God after I die, I’ve got a whole list of ‘em!).

Sometimes I take a scene from a dream and detail it, imagining that it is a divination/inspiration card, from my own personal wisdom deck.  I note the setting, the objects, the main character, the feel.  Everything I can discern.  Then I set about decoding the symbolism of each aspect of myself.  I’ve thought that I could indeed create a personal wisdom deck based on scenes extracted from dreams.

What are dreams telling you these nights?  Are they muttering or sighing to your soul?  What might happen if you unpacked one of your dreams, spread out the images and symbols and words and let them soak into your waking heart?

It’s easy to start tending your dreams.  You can do as I do, and just write down the last one of the night.  Even if it’s just a snippet, or a feeling, evaporating as you try to grasp it, do so anyway.   You are signaling to your dreams that you are ready to listen.  Tomorrow night or the next it will become easier to recall a little more.hawthrn

Write your dream down as if it’s happening right now.  It is.  If you start going somewhere else with the dream, into a landscape that you know didn’t just happen, just fly with it.  Your dream is still conversing, singing a little into your waking-dreaming being.

When you’re done, reread what you’ve written.  Regard the dream as a being, someone you’ve just met.  Be curious.  Be receptive.  Ask some questions perhaps, and journal some responses.  Or just be with the landscape of your dream and let the images work into your heart in their own way.

You might ask: what might I pay special attention to at this time?

Let the image float into you.  Explore it.  Unpack it’s own personal symbolism to you, or its more universal meanings.  Literary references, even.  Or a play on words.

You might ask: what simple action might I take because of this dream that will shape my life in a good way, in a direction I need or yearn to go?  Then during the day, take that action.

My post today is one way I am taking action based on a dream!

In The Spirit Of The Dream

Diane Hillaire and Liz Brenneman–two wise women indeed from my village–lead dream circles.  Read this article by Liz to find out more about dream tending, especially in a dream circle:  In The Spirit Of Dream

Deer Medicine

Deer watch

Deer watch

Do you ever feel like you have a recurring amnesia about your life? That, over and over, you find yourself waking up to something that you already knew quite well about your inner nature, but which you had somehow lost the thread? I have this kind of awakening sense way too often (it seems!). All I can figure is that I’m just moving along the spiral of my life, re-encountering these knowings in different layers of my being, and reorienting myself to essential truths.

Okay! So, in the past few days I’ve been deep in the leaves of a very dense book, The Book Of Herbal Wisdom by Matthew Wood. This astounding book is aptly named, wandering boldly, knowledgeably, and compellingly in all realms of herbalism, including plant spirit/shamanic understandings of herbs, historic practices, and myth. In particular, this passage opened a vista for me that I had somehow forgotten in myself:

“The medicine knowledge of the elders [referring to the Grand Medicine Society of the native peoples of his area] is often arranged around the principal plants and animals native to the region. These become reference points for inner and outer experience. The large, important animals of the area–eagle, wolf, bear, turtle, deer–become the major symbols around which knowledge is coalesced. Very often, this knowledge is derived directly by watching these animals in the wild, or in dreamtime, over many generations …”

Matthew Wood goes on to describe “Bear Medicines” — qualities of Bear, and the kinds of plants that are “Bear Medicines”. Then “Wolf Medicines” and his sole example of “Turtle Medicine”. He does not describe any Deer Medicines (at least, not so far in my reading!), but as I read these pages I awoke into my heart that my path to a true, deeply-rooted connection with the herbal world was by way of the Deer.

Kind of a “duhhh” experience, because I’ve been crazy about Deer all my life–my totem animal for sure!  My inner/magical name isn’t “Singing Deer” for nothing! As a preadolescent I read every deer book I could get my hands on.  I literally read Bambi: A Life In The Woods by Felix Salten fifty times (I have reading logs to prove it!).  One part of that book has always shimmered in the foreground of my memory: when Bambi, shot by a hunter, is led by the Old Stag into escape.

celticstagOn the way Bambi nibbles a bitter herb and not only does the bleeding abate, but his mind clears, and he is able to make his way to a mossy shelter.  There he recovers:

“He ate plants now that he had never noticed before.  Now they appealed to his taste and attracted him by their strange, enticing acrid smell.  Everything that he had disdained before and would spit out if it got accidently into his mouth, seemed appetizing to him.  He still disliked many of the little leaves and short, coarse shoots, but he ate them anyway, as though her were compelled to, and his wound healed faster.  He felt his strength returning.”

I’ve longed to know what those herbs were!  Anyway, the above passage is a great example of how body wisdom can wake up and listen to the plants, you might say.  The qualities of particular herbs that were repugnant before now communicate that they are exactly what he needs to heal.

When I consider Deer Medicine, I realize that this book, Bambi, with its attentiveness to the ways of the Deer, and to life in the forest was my textbook, my lorebook, feeding my imagination and hunger to know more about the Deer, an experience of this graceful animal often limited to counting how many deer I saw on the hillsides when we drove along freeways.

Now I Google “Deer Medicine”, and come up with a description of people of Deer Medicine that so mirrors the qualities and space that I aim to create in my healing artistry that I feel like I’m looking in a mirror indeed.  Then I discover Susan Bloomfield and her Deer Medicine Sound Healing.  Another spirit sister!

So, yes, my healing artistry is Deer Medicine, as it has been all along (yes, I’ll be updating my web writing about it. I’ve even in the past called it “Voices Of The Deer”!).  And I understand in a deeper, rich soil, sunlight dappled leafy path way that just as the Deer in many tales leads the unsuspecting into the magic of the Otherworld, Deer leads me into the forest of my soul.

May I remain awake and alive to this inner knowing!  And may my Cauldron of Memory and Inspiration remain upright so that I may inhale the aromatic, many-herbed fragrance, and offer Deer Medicine to all those seeking beauty, harmony within the spirit of themselves, easing of pains, soothing of heart, clarity of mind, restoration of soul, and a steady gaze upon their own magical nature should they happen to find their way to my healing grove. As I type this post (“spellwork”, as David Abrams speaks of in The Spell Of The Sensuous) I know that I will not forget again.

What is your Spirit Medicine?  What do encounter again and again and keep forgetting?  What is that essential knowing that you only have to call forth from your Cauldron Of Being one more time to have before you, shining in your mind and heart forever, a staff in your hand, leading you out of the tangled expanse into your own home place at last?

deer
Voices Of The Deer

WindBreak: “Way Of The Medicine Tree” Vow

Playing harp for the mountains at Castell-y-Bere in mid-Wales, back in 1996
berejane1Week 5’s reading in 12 Secrets Of Highly Creative Women revolved on self-focus, challenges women may face to pursuing their creativity. At this point in my life, I don’t really relate to a lot of what the chapter discussed, though at various times I certainly experience what feels like an “either-or” situation: either I focus on home and family and other commitments or my art. But, honestly, for me, my art is my whole life, and when it is in balance, everything shines.

That said, I do enjoy a good deal of “solo” work. So, I have “arrows” for satisfying my creative will and play. I have dedicated time (my dream-tending, reflection, and nature awareness practice before the home gets moving, and a flamekeeping practice I’ve just begun before I go to bed, for instance, and usually a couple of blocks of same time-same place work (such as for writing my novel) with focused, achievable goals. Having long uninterrupted spaces of time to create does not work for me at this time in my life. Having specific intentions and goals that I tend to almost every day is carrying me far!

Other creative pursuits (deepening my herbal, healing, and naturalist knowledge, some of my music work) get fashioned into “arrows”. I set up a stream of targets (fancy way of saying a “to do” list), and consider which are “up” next. Then during the day, I open to opportunities to pursue this or that of them. Usually, I don’t tend to all in a day. They are arrows that I tend to over a course of days, or even weeks, until I’ve reached my final targets. When one arrow reaches its grand finale, I fashion the next arrow for its continued journey.

I also look to ways I can weave the things that excite me into my family life, into our homeschooling. Opportunities always open, if I’m open to that possibility. Often surprising and very fun connections firework forth, and that really is the best, because then my passions are really woven into the whole fabric of my life–our life, not confined to a “me-only and hopefully someone else out there in the big world”. Then it becomes more like ensemble work, playing off of each others’ passions, diving more deeply into our own solo work, etc., weaving the music into tasks of tending our family, home, and chickens :-). A real jam session of not-so-everyday life!

Okay, so back to the title of this post: My Medicine Tree vow.

Bardic harping has reemerged into the foreground of my life. I’ve flipped open my copy of The Bardic Handbook: The Complete Manual For The 21st Century Bard by Kevan Manwaring, and having begun working through it, as a way of rededicating myself to the path, going deeper with the threads of story, lore, ideas, and performance with which I work, and ordering the material and my artistry with it. The book is a a-year-and-a-day course in being the bardic path, and I am working through the exercises and ideas, which involve a vow.

Well, I am already a bard, and have been professionally so (publicly and not) for more than fourteen years. And while the Bardic path is certainly a rich and prominent stream in my art and identifies what “rocks” me in offering my artistic self, the archetype of the Bard doesn’t contain (for me) the whole mythic sense of myself. So what does? And why is it important to figure that out right now anyway?

To answer the last question: I have literally and figuratively moved into a new place in my life. As in other posts, I’ve explored various “branches” of art and knowledge, which I bundled into my imagined Forest Halls Folk College self-directed learning postgraduate degree. In a way, these “branches” are like the branches in the The Story Of The Medicine Tree — which, when broken off, plunged into the earth and formed unique trees: I could follow any one of these into a deep artistry. But instead, I have my own Medicine Tree emerging from the center of this forest. That is the place where I am (imaginatively) now. And so, I am attempting to weave the various branches that are flourishing, emerging trees in my soul-geography forest, into the deeply rooted, sturdy, flexible, many-branched Medicine Tree that is me in my center. (It’s so fun to find oneself in story!). In considering this image at my core, I realized the obvious: what I’m dedicating myself to is the Way Of The Medicine Tree, tending to its medicine, its veriditas, to listening, and being, and offering. Its artistry. It’s a slight shift in alignment from where I’ve been, into that place of the Tree, and the rhythmic pulse of the antlered harp.

This Full Moon was the perfect time for making a Vow, taking place in the Northeast of the year (a time of inspiration, mystery, ceremony, poetry, trickster-transformer nature, creative fire and healing waters), and because it occasioned a penumbral lunar eclipse. I actually initiated my vow the night before, and then punctuated commitment throughout the day. In the evening, I had my family come with me to Wallowa Lake, where in a snowy mountainscape illuminated by the Full Moon, we gazed in awe at the massive frozen lake. I’m stunned to live in a place of such incredible sparkling wild beauty–the lake is a reasonable walk from our home!

So there we are: my own personal “self-focus proclamation” by way of my vow to the Way Of The Medicine Tree (although can there be a ‘way’ of a Medicine Tree? Hm!). I have many teachers and streams of wisdom to guide me along my path, and my own internal compass to align me to my nature. I’ll let you know what I discover along the way!

And, yes, the harp is a “central fire” expression of my Medicine Tree!

A page from an imagined bardic harp primer
bardicharp1

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